Me

Many different people know me from many different walks of life. Unfortunately many different people also know me by many different reputations too. Perhaps now it is only those that knew me, rather than those that know me.

For some I may never have the chance to make it right. For others, and for those who know me, my fervent prayer is that I need never say a word, but that my life will tell my story. For those that missed the chapter in between, this one’s for you:

Many people assume when you say that you grew up “in the church”, or in a Christian home, that you have walked your way with God by your side. For many years I was of the same opinion. From as old as I can remember I played an active role in whatever I could get my hands on – telling children’s stories or teaching youngsters lessons, taking offices in church and involving myself in the weekly routine. I was never without God, but at the same time, I don’t think I ever let Him within me. My life was my life, my choice, my consequence, and in my control. Sure, God was there. But riding on the roof-racks.

I think it’s relatively safe to say that I lost nearly everything I was fighting so hard to keep, everything I had wrapped my world around. And on my way down, I found myself by chance one night crumpled on my knees. While I’m down here, I thought, I might as well. I’ve given it all I’ve got. With every ounce of strength. I’ve tried my best, and this is what I’ve got. I’m not giving up yet. But if I lose it all – IF I lose it all – what’s left You can have. If You think You can do a better job, what’s left is Yours.

And even before I understood, I saw God picking up the pieces of what I was.

It was in that that I found want, desire, hope, love, promise – a deeper desire to know, to understand, and to be forgiven. I couldn’t understand why He would want to pick up the pieces. I didn’t understand how He could want me, love me, forgive me. But I was consumed by a hunger to know. In pursuit of understanding it, I began to catch a glimpse of Him.

And I don’t think I will ever be the same again.

Ok, you say. That’s great and all, but Africa? It’s not a little extreme?

Maybe for some it would be. But that all depends. You see, the story doesn’t end there.

My life changed – my ‘Road to Damascus’ experience sent me hurtling headlong into a much unexpected relationship with God. Not a hang-onto-the-roof-racks-here-we-go-again kind of relationship, but rather a “I’ll pick you up” kind of friendship. I started to learn not to hijack roundabout then too, and started asking where we were going, where He wanted to go, and how we were going to get there. Much like a regular friendship.

The concept of “courting” God came to mind a while back, where you get to know each other, spend time together, learn to trust each other, and fall in love. You try and test each other. You push and prod and find out what you’re really made of and then you lean on them, you commit to them, and you’re in for the long haul.

It all sounds easy. Unless you’ve been there. Because anyone who tells you it is, is lying. Because change takes time. Even change out of love. And you still sometimes leave your socks lying on the floor even though you’ve been married for the last 198 years. It’s no different – on your part. But it is on His. And He has never let me down.

Anyway. It wasn’t long before I started to listen better. It was round this time that God reminded me of the broken promise I had made so many months before, and I started to discover that He actually had a plan, a vision, for my life when He created me and plotted my existence in the eternal spans of time.

Now I get it that some do not understand a reaction out of love, gratitude and obedience. I don’t believe that I need earn forgiveness or pay penance for my sins – it’s in the very definition of grace and mercy.

Get ready…” He said. “You don’t want me” said I. You can see where this conversation was going. All I know is that He took the time to help me understand that He had a purpose for my life, no matter what I’d done. That He already knew where I’d been before He created me to fulfil His purpose.

He was asking me to give Him all my life, all my days, all my trust, no matter what. No matter where.

I said yes.

 

7 responses

  1. tori

    Reading your new site has made me feel a bit emotional. Your blog is fab already!!! It’s like you’ve done it all your life.
    Good luck lovely, keep in touch and keep smiling – you’re doing a wonderful thing xxx

    6 September 2011 at 1:56 pm

  2. karen

    Missing you and know your cheerful self will be very much missed at Sabbath breakfast this week… Thinking of you often. A great many hugs xx

    21 September 2011 at 2:42 pm

  3. Jon Mills

    Hi Brew
    Gald to see you have settled in with the local wildlife, within the next couple of weeks you wont’ even nnotince they are there – so dont worry.
    Keep up the good work and keep on blogging – maybe some pictures as soon as you can (not spiders though I don’t like them either).
    Keep safe.

    Jon.

    23 September 2011 at 9:22 am

  4. christina

    hi Bron, he really doesn’t like spiders I have to get rid of all creepy things in the house!!!! strange Jon still lives here. Glad your okay mozzie bites are the absolute worse and it’s so easy for people to say don’t scratch!!! Just to make you jealous my hair appointment is next Fri things we take for granted hey!
    Take care Bron Christina xxx

    23 September 2011 at 9:51 am

  5. colin bingham

    hi bron just a quick mesage to see how you are doing still missing you at salsa

    look after yourself colin

    26 September 2012 at 11:40 am

  6. Gaelyn

    Hi Bronwyn!
    Wow! It’s so nice to see you again…via the web of course. I saw Joanne and Darren today and when they were showing me some pics they mentioned ‘Bronwyn who’s from the UK but is basically South African’ or something like that. I asked ‘What’s her surname?’ and then I said I know you! Enjoy Chad and may God provide for your every need and may He bless your time there and all those you are serving.
    Love, Gaelyn

    26 January 2013 at 7:58 pm

  7. John Allen

    Bronwyn,
    Where are you? o posts since May?

    26 July 2013 at 9:32 pm

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